Clutter Could Be Killing the Romance: Survey Finds Messy Homes Dim Attraction and Fuel Conflicts

A new nationwide survey indicates that clutter in the home can dim romance, with many couples reporting that untidy living spaces undermine attraction and trigger conflict. The Storage Center surveyed 1,000 adults in relationships, and the results show more than a third say their partner's mess makes them less attracted, while 28% say their partner should clean up without being told.

Women report higher levels of irritation than men, with 62% saying their partner’s chaos drives them crazy compared with 50% of men. When mess surfaces, many people act unilaterally to fix it, even if the mess isn’t theirs: 59% of women and 47% of men say they’ve cleaned up someone else’s clutter. More than a third say clutter kills the spark, and 61% report regular blowups over housekeeping. Almost 70% of partners are hoarding clothes that don’t fit anymore, just in case. Coming home, for many, feels more like navigating a fashion and laundry minefield than settling in for the evening.

Nearly 4 in 10 report their partner immediately swaps work clothes for comfy outfits, while 30% say they live in a sea of dirty laundry. A quarter admit piles overflow like a laundry volcano, and 19% report socks and underwear scattered like confetti. Another 19% say their partners traipse around in “outside clothes” on the bed or couch, and 15% can’t tell clean from dirty. These patterns illustrate how clutter can spill over into daily life and judgment, the survey shows.

Mess doesn’t just frustrate couples; it can fuel secret wars. Nearly 4 in 10 adults admit they’ve purged a partner’s belongings in secret, with Gen Z higher at 46%. Some men have even “accidentally” broken things to get rid of them, 35%, with Gen Z doubling down at 52%. Among engaged couples, 46% have tossed items in secret, and 42% have broken them intentionally. More than one in five Gen Zers say they’ve withheld affection, time, or attention to pressure a partner to clean. Among married couples, 63% say they’ve never pulled that stunt.

Clutter also appears to influence dating prospects. Nearly one in four Americans say they’ve decided not to pursue someone after seeing their place, and 38% of Gen Z respondents say a chaotic home gives them the ultimate ick. The simple request to share the load, the survey suggests, remains a common hurdle to romance.

Experts say that the appeal of a tidy space goes beyond aesthetics. Home cleaning company Homeaglow has highlighted that doing the dishes tops the list as a major turn-on, while other chores can have the opposite effect if neglected. Behavioral scientist Zelana Montminy told PureWow that giving a partner the mental lead—letting them steer the process—can help shift dynamics toward collaboration.

Experts say clutter is not merely an eyesore; it can be a stressor that harms relationships over time. The takeaway for couples, according to researchers and researchers-turned-advocates, is to address clutter together, set expectations, and share the load. In many cases, a simple increase in daily shared chores and a clearer division of responsibilities can help preserve romance and reduce friction. As the report underscores, even small changes—such as keeping a sink spot clean or agreeing on a tidying routine—can make a meaningful difference in how partners perceive each other and their home life.