Dear Abby advises on a father's remarriage and the 'child bride' nickname

A reader in Texas turned to Dear Abby after discovering her father’s remarriage less than a year after his wife’s death. She says he has begun peppering conversations with affectionate nicknames for his new wife, including terms that echo her late mother. The daughter reports feeling that the nicknames and the way the marriage unfolded feel like a personal slight to her mother’s memory and have made her hesitant to answer the phone. In its reply, the Dear Abby column says the father is likely in the honeymoon phase of a new marriage and that such nicknames, while awkward, are not necessarily meant to wound. The adviser suggests therapy and setting boundaries to help the daughter cope and prevent resentment from hardening into anger.

According to the note, the father announced the engagement on Facebook before informing family members, invited the new wife to the delayed memorial service, and bragged about the new wife to a priest at a family member’s hospice deathbed. The daughter also recalls that her mother’s ashes were to be placed in a sectarian columbarium rather than scattered in a state park, a decision she viewed as another hurtful choice. She even recounts a moment when she had to ship estrogen cream to the couple, an episode she found painful to discuss. The columnist notes these incidents are stressful and embarrassing but not necessarily malicious; the recommended path forward is to acknowledge the hurt, discuss boundaries with the father, and seek counseling if needed so as to preserve the relationship while protecting the memory of the first wife.

Separately in the same column, a reader from the Midwest asks how to remind a grieving friend to cash a memorial check months after it was sent. The guidance offered is simple and respectful: send a brief note asking whether the recipient received the memorial and whether it should be cashed or if it was misplaced in the mail. The advice emphasizes courtesy and clarity rather than pressure or guilt.

Beyond the specific cases, etiquette writers say readers frequently confront the intersection of grief, remarriage, and evolving family norms. Dear Abby, authored by Abigail Van Buren, has long offered practical guidance on sensitive topics such as memory, boundaries, and communication, aiming to help readers navigate uncomfortable moments with compassion and clarity.

Images accompany the report to provide context for readers. A photograph from the New York Post run alongside the feature is placed mid-article to illustrate the tone of the piece and its approach to guidance.

Overall, the column underscores how grief can shape family dynamics and how new relationships intersect with long-standing loyalties. It suggests that even amid discomfort, pursuing professional guidance and maintaining respectful boundaries can help families move forward while honoring memory.