Dear Abby tackles fairness at home and online boundaries in two letters

Two letters published this week in the Dear Abby advice column spotlight two everyday dilemmas that readers are bringing to the long-running feature: relationship equity at home and boundaries in a family that engages in online hostility. In one note, a partner who cooks for their dogs but not for the partner prompts questions about fairness and how to address it. In the other, a gay man in Texas confronts relatives who post anti-gay and anti-immigrant messages, asking how to respond.

Reader one describes nine years with a boyfriend who is affectionate, loyal and an exceptional cook—yet his kitchen talents are reserved for the couple's two Yorkies. The dogs receive gourmet meals, complete with Wagyu steak and a bone-broth reduction, while the writer ends up with leftovers: a turkey sandwich past its expiration date and a bag of chips. The letter asks whether it's reasonable to demand equal treatment, including a "steak night" for themselves. Abby presses the core question: how can you gauge his cooking skill if he never cooks for you? She also notes that readers’ opinions will likely appear online, inviting dialogue about fairness and boundaries.

Breaking Point in Texas follows: a gay man with his husband for more than 30 years describes family who are religiously and politically conservative and who have long accepted their relationship. In recent months, some relatives have posted anti-gay and anti-immigrant messages on social media, and the writer notes that he has quietly unfriended or unfollowed them to limit exposure to the toxicity. He asks whether to confront relatives about the impact of their posts or to withdraw further.

Abby’s response for the second letter is clear: the writer should speak up and let these homophobic and xenophobic relatives know their posts have affected him. Posts can have real consequences, she writes, and readers have the right to protect themselves from toxicity. She adds that stepping back from online hostility can be a prudent choice, and she endorses the writer’s decision to limit exposure.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

The pair of letters underscores the column’s ongoing relevance in pop culture as a space where readers seek practical guidance on navigating intimate relationships and the broader social dynamics that shape family life in the digital era.