Ho ho no! Four ways to stop kids' Christmas meltdowns

Christmas can be a sensory challenge for children, with crowded events, long queues and unpredictable schedules. A BBC News Education feature summarises four practical steps for keeping the season calmer, drawing on insights from parenting specialist San Mehra and comedian and father George Lewis. The guidance notes that festive excitement, when paired with changing routines, can overwhelm some kids.

Anchor routines help children feel grounded when festivities disrupt normal life, Mehra says. The advice is to keep wake times, meals and bedtimes as consistent as possible, and to mark events on a calendar so kids know what is coming. If a child has anxiety around change, parents should talk about worries and schedule downtime with the same care as activities. "Chaos all day is hard for kids to cope with," Mehra says. A calendar helps children anticipate what is ahead, and downtime should be planned with equal priority to activities.

Second, build your own traditions that prioritise comfort and predictability. Lewis, who has two children with autism, explains that the family moved away from an idealised, movie-style Christmas toward a smaller, home-based celebration with fewer people. "I always had this version of the perfect Christmas in my head," he says. "But when my son spent an entire family gathering standing alone at the end of the garden, I thought: if this isn’t for him, then who is it for?" The family now keeps celebrations low-key, spreads activities out, and often shifts the big meal to Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. "We’ve stopped having Christmas dinner on Christmas Day," Lewis adds, noting they cook it earlier and spend the day simply playing with the kids or ordering in curry in the evening.

Third, acknowledge how they feel. Even with planning, festive outings can tip into overload. When a meltdown hits, Mehra says the first step is to check in with yourself and stay calm. Then parents should get down to the child’s level and help them feel understood. A simple acknowledgement like: "You’ve been waiting for ages, haven’t you? You’re probably fed up right now" can ease tension. Mehra also notes that naming the emotion—frustration, boredom, or sensory overwhelm—can reduce the intensity by about half. Some families also opt for SEND-friendly sessions with reduced noise and crowds to keep outings enjoyable rather than overwhelming.

Fourth, teach children to navigate conflict. With routines unsettled and excitement high, squabbles can arise between siblings and cousins. When tensions rise, parents should guide rather than immediately intervene: Separate the children and ask, "Do you want my help, or do you want to sort it out yourselves?" Set the rules—quiet while the other is speaking, and empathetic listening. Let each child explain what happened, briefly clarify the sequence, brainstorm solutions together, and agree on one course of action. Check back later to see how it’s working. Over time, children often begin to resolve conflicts themselves using the same approach.

Experts emphasise that the goal is to preserve festive joy while minimizing distress, particularly for children with heightened sensitivities. For families navigating chatter, crowds and changing routines, these four strategies offer a framework to keep the season manageable without sacrificing the spirit of the holidays.