Hoda Kotb explains moment she realized engagement with Joel Schiffman was over
In her new memoir Jump and Find Joy, the Today show host details how a Hoffman Institute retreat reframed her view of a nearly decade-long relationship and led to a 2022 split, with a focus on honest co-parenting and hopeful dating.
Hoda Kotb says the moment she realized her engagement to Joel Schiffman was over came during a life-changing week at the Hoffman Institute in 2022. The Today show host began dating the financier in 2013 and the couple adopted two daughters, Haley Joy and Hope Catherine. After nearly a decade together, they announced in January 2022 that they were ending their relationship, despite plans to marry in 2019. The split occurred as Kotb continued her work on Today while co-parenting their children.
An excerpt from Kotb’s forthcoming book Jump and Find Joy describes an epiphany during the Hoffman Institute retreat that left her feeling that she was a total phony in her relationship and that their dynamic had changed. The piece notes that even a strong relationship can stop deepening, and although Kotb loved Schiffman, she concluded the end was the right course. She described the breakup as one of the best 10-second decisions of her life.
Kotb stressed that she and Schiffman are now connected as dear friends who will co-parent their daughters in a beautiful way. She said they remain closely bonded, and the relationship now centers on honesty and the children. The couple will continue to share parenting duties, and Kotb noted that the kids respond best when they see a genuine, nonpretend dynamic between their parents.
On dating, Kotb said she is not actively pursuing a new partner at the moment. She indicated she is not seeking introductions or using dating apps, but she remains optimistic that a soul connection could appear in the future, adding that there is someone out there who is right for her.
Context: The remarks are part of the book Jump and Find Joy, with Kotb describing how honesty and authenticity have shaped her approach to parenting after a public breakup. The narrative emphasizes resilience and the ongoing effort to find joy and personal growth in the face of change.