Hoda Kotb reveals the moment she knew her engagement was over
In Jump and Find Joy, the NBC anchor discusses a week of reflection at the Hoffman Institute and the decision to end her engagement with Joel Schiffman.
Hoda Kotb reveals in her new book Jump and Find Joy that she realized her engagement to Joel Schiffman was over after spending a week at the Hoffman Institute, a program focused on personal breakthroughs. She writes that during the week she felt that everything had shifted and that the couple’s dynamic had changed. The acknowledgment appears in an intimate portrait of Kotb’s post-relationship life as she reflects on what she wants from love and family.
An excerpt of the memoir shared by Today.com describes a Hoffman Institute session in which Kotb observed others sharing their raw truths and decided to speak her own truth about why she had come. She writes that she confronted a long-held belief about herself, admitting she had been a total phony in her relationships and a pretender. She describes this moment as one of the best ten-second decisions of her life and says the honesty that followed clarified the nature of her relationship with Schiffman.
Kotb and Schiffman began dating in 2013 and became engaged in November 2019. They share two adopted daughters, Haley and Hope. Kotb later disclosed on NBC's Today show that they decided to end their engagement in 2022, noting they were better as friends and parents than as an engaged couple. She suggested the split was not precipitated by a single incident but by a realization that some relationships are meant for a season rather than a lifetime.
She emphasizes that loving someone does not require a lifelong romantic commitment and that it is possible to admire and care for a person while choosing a different form of love. The reflections in Jump and Find Joy frame the decision to part as a personal evolution rather than a failure, with Kotb continuing to co-parent Haley and Hope and to pursue her work and outreach as a public figure.
With the book, Kotb aims to encourage resilience and joy in everyday life, drawing on her own experiences to connect with audiences. The revelations about her personal life come as she maintains a high-profile role with NBC's Today show and continues to be part of the broader culture-and-entertainment conversation about relationships, growth, and public accountability.