Playlists for life: how people curate music to carry them through terminal illness
Music's neurological and emotional reach in end-of-life care is illustrated through a pub DJ's personal project, a hospice nurse's work, and families finding solace in shared songs.
Local DJ Dave Gilmore has shifted from curating pub and club nights to compiling a life-spanning playlist to accompany him through terminal illness. His mix includes November Rain and Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses, Apache by The Shadows—the track that inspired him to take up guitar—and Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb. Hazel O'Connor's 1980 hit Will You? is dedicated to his wife and their two children, and the memory of that song has helped anchor him as his illness progresses.
As he faces terminal illness, the playlist is less about a farewell soundtrack and more about sustaining connection and memory. The therapeutic value of music in palliative care is increasingly recognized, with researchers noting neurological and emotional benefits. Brain activity scans show music lights up multiple regions of the brain, engaging physical and emotional centers at once, and some neural pathways can remain accessible even if other areas are damaged.
Marie Curie charity surveyed 1,000 adults whose loved ones had received care in the final stages of life. It found that listening to music together helped create a shared experience, offered a sense of normality, and helped people relax. Kate Gilmore says that music helped when Dave returned home after a lengthy hospital stay, describing how Native American tunes helped him sleep and recall happier times. The couple’s playlist included songs tied to significant places and moments—youth, holidays, romance—that often become anchors for families coping with illness.
Diana Schad, a staff nurse at the Marie Curie hospice in Glasgow who also plays music, has installed a piano for patients and volunteers to use. She emphasizes that caregivers must consider the feelings music evokes and ask whether those feelings align with what the patient would want at the moment.
Experts offer guidance for building a palliative playlist: focus on music memories formed between ages 10 and 30; include songs tied to meaningful places and life events; consider the feelings sparked by the music, not just the memories; remember that music can trigger memories even for people with dementia by connecting multiple brain regions; resources like BBC Music Memories can spark recall; be open to unexpected connections, such as TV show themes or commercial jingles with personal meaning.
Dr. Sam Murphy, a senior lecturer at the Open University who studies thanatology, says there is evidence that hearing is often the last sense to fade, so music can reach patients even when they are unconscious. It can keep them connected to their surroundings, to the people they love, and to the sense of being alive.
Music can also comfort loved ones after a death. Murphy notes the sense of connection created by listening to familiar tunes. Anna-Kay Brocklesby, whose husband Ian died of prostate cancer in 2023, describes how sharing his favorite songs became a daily ritual. Each morning he would make tea and sing Oh, What a Beautiful Morning from the musical Oklahoma; the couple also played Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Elton John to lift spirits. She says Ian lives on in their family, and music can take them to a place with him.
Together, these stories show music's enduring role in end-of-life care. It helps ease anxiety and pain, strengthens bonds, and offers a thread of continuity for families as they face loss.
