Secrets, speeches and a provocative gift: JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette’s Cumberland Island wedding

On September 21, 1996, John F Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette quietly wed in a secret ceremony on Cumberland Island, Georgia. Only about 40 guests were invited to the event, staged in a small church at the island’s far northern end. The wedding, kept under wraps for weeks, would become one of the decade’s most scrutinized moments in pop culture.

New details about the planning and the guest list come from JFK Jr: An Intimate Oral Biography by Liz McNeil and RoseMarie Terenzio, which compiles intimate interviews from people who knew the couple well. Terenzio, Kennedy’s former executive assistant, and Sasha Chermayeff, a close friend and former college roommate, describe a planning process conducted with meticulous care and extraordinary secrecy. Terenzio recalls a level of paranoia about leaks, joking that whenever planning talk came up she would simply say that the event was Nicole Miller’s wedding.

The guest list was deliberately small. Caroline Kennedy and a few family members were invited, along with Anthony Radziwill, who served as best man, and other close kin. John’s aunt Lee Radziwill was not invited. The couple’s circle was described as tightly controlled, with John attempting to shield Carolyn from attention and pressure. Terenzio notes that John did not invite Lee because he distrusted that she would keep confidences, saying she would not abide by their wishes and that would jeopardize the secrecy. Carolyn reportedly asked if it was crazy not to invite her, and John replied that he was not inviting her.

The guests faced a distinctly controlled run of events, from the island’s security to the small, intimate setting. Gogo Ferguson, Cumberland Island’s ring designer and Greyfield Inn proprietor, recalls that when they arrived they were given buffalo nickels to carry for access around the island because security was so tight. The couple’s circle, Ferguson says, gathered for a cookout on the beach after guests began arriving, followed by a rehearsal dinner on the upstairs porch of the Greyfield Inn.

The next day, the mood shifted into heightened nerves. Sasha Chermayeff remembers Carolyn being in a good mood at the rehearsal dinner, then turning more watchful as the wedding approached. John insisted on a ceremony in the tiny First African Baptist Church on Cumberland Island’s far north end, choosing a setting that emphasized privacy. The drive to the church required a convoy of pickup trucks along the beach at low tide, with chairs and other elements loaded into the back to avoid a formal procession. The gown’s fittings illustrated the degree of last‑minute improvisation. Narciso Rodriguez had to work around a neckline that proved too tight and a dress that had not been fully finished; finishing touches demanded a scarf to keep hair and makeup intact as Carolyn slipped into the gown. The neckline required careful manipulation, and at one point the dress had to be opened and resewn to fit properly.

The reports describe a sense of urgency as the party arrived at the church. A reporter who attempted to slip onto the island was forced to backtrack after nearly wading through swampy water, surrendering with a resigned plea to be arrested rather than continue. The ceremony itself started about an hour and a half late, with candles and flashlights lighting the church in place of electricity. Carolyn had placed tiny Bibles on seats along with small fans to help guests cope with the heat. After vows, attendees joined in a quiet acknowledgment, and the group reportedly sang along to When the Saints Go Marching In. The sheriff’s department then drove John and Carolyn back to the Greyfield Inn, where the property’s compound glowed with white paper sandbags and candles as night fell.

The reception was understated but memorable. A DJ provided the music as guests celebrated into the night, with playful moments such as a cousin’s attempt to teach Teddy Kennedy the Macarena. The atmosphere remained intimate, with a sense that Carolyn’s circle of friends was smaller and more carefully chosen than John’s broader circle. As one participant noted, it felt John‑centric in a way that underscored the couple’s private world.

The guests later recalled a series of personal nicks and jokes that characterized the wedding’s lighter moments. One memory involved a gift exchange for the staff: back in New York the following week, Terenzio says John left gifts for the staff, including a bottle of champagne for the women and a cigar for the men, along with a note that read, in effect, congratulations and a wink that they would now be addressing him as Mister Kennedy. In another anecdote, a guest described an underwear gift that had a provocative twist, a satin pair bearing initials that in some accounts were a cheeky nod to the couple’s sense of humor. Carolyn reportedly speculated that this was a way of reminding guests not to take the event too seriously.

The wedding remained a defining moment in JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette’s stories, a private ceremony conducted at a time when their lives were already under intense public scrutiny. The participants recollect a wedding that was small in scale but large in symbolic significance, a moment when fashion, politics and celebrity intersected in a way that would reverberate for years. The individuals who spoke to McNeil and Terenzio emphasize the couple’s desire for control over how their moment would be remembered, and the extreme measures they took to keep it out of the headlines.

This account is excerpted from JFK Jr: An Intimate Oral Biography by Liz McNeil and RoseMarie Terenzio. Copyright 2024 by Liz McNeil and RoseMarie Terenzio. Reprinted by permission of Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, LLC.