The holiday shift bias: singlism and how it shapes who works major holidays

A growing pattern in workplaces during December is the assignment of major holiday shifts to single and childfree employees, a practice researchers call singlism. Sophie, a hospital social worker, described how the bias shows up differently in her career: it’s less pervasive at her current salaried job but was common in retail and gig work. "I internalized it by offering to work major holidays, stating, 'Well, I don't have a family, I don't need to be home for that holiday,'" she recalled. "I don't have a family?! What ... Kool-Aid was I drinking to completely disregard my parents, siblings and chosen family that I was volunteering for busy shifts?" Managers should be careful not to assume that single and/or childfree people don't need holiday time as much as others do.

The idea that single workers are less deserving of time off is what Bella DePaulo, a social scientist, calls singlism—a stigma that single people lack meaningful commitments outside work. DePaulo says single people have lives that matter just as much as married or partnered colleagues, and workplaces should be neutral about marital and parental status. HuffPost’s coverage of the issue highlighted first-person experiences: Emily, a donor relations professional in college development, said she was "always the one who had to sacrifice time with her family and loved ones at her job" and that the pattern damaged her relationships. Patricia, a former military staffer, said not being married was used to justify long deployments that fell on holidays, and she questioned whether her non-existent children counted as family. The stories reflect a broader concern that the burden of holiday coverage too often falls on single or childfree workers. One reader described how holidays were routinely carved out for those with families, leaving others to rearrange plans and relationships. In some cases, the pressure led to lost time with loved ones and, for some, strain on personal ties.

There isn’t a single answer for how to distribute holiday shifts fairly, but several experts say the process should be deliberate and inclusive. Mary Abbajay, president of the leadership consultancy Careerstone Group, notes that many organizations rely on seniority, which can inadvertently favor those with families or older workers. "Seniority usually means it will favor people who have families, who are going to be older," she says. She suggests a more transparent approach that might combine a point system, last-year checks, and even a lottery for some slots. "Maybe make an equation out of it. Seniority gets you one point; maybe you lose a point if you took it off last year. Something that automatically doesn’t give it to the people who have been there the longest or who have the kids. Maybe you have a lottery for some people," Abbajay said. The bottom line, she adds, is to get creative about fairness and inclusivity so no group is consistently penalized or advantaged.

Organizations should also consider rewarding those who work holidays, whether with extra pay or small tokens of appreciation. "Something that says, 'You know what, I really appreciate that you fell on the sword for this one.' You want your people always to feel valued and appreciated, especially if they have to work the holidays," Abbajay said. Additional paid time off can also help offset the burden. Sophie, who has since shifted her stance, argues that holiday shifts should first be offered to those who want them for personal reasons, not assigned by default to single workers. "If there are definitely folks who prefer to work those shifts for a variety of reasons," she notes, "then whatever remaining gaps there are, look at who worked the previous year/years and ask if they want to work it again. If they don’t, then establish a rotating schedule or pull from a hat." The idea is to balance needs across the team rather than defaulting to one demographic.

For single employees who find themselves repeatedly handed holiday shifts, the consensus among experts and workers is to initiate the conversation early and frame requests as accommodations rather than complaints. Abbajay cautions that timing matters and suggests documenting preferences and past coverage to support a fair plan. "It’s hard to say no when you’re early," she says. In practice, some workers find success by proposing formal processes—holiday shifts posted for grabs, followed by a structured rotation that evens out the load over time.

Sophie now looks back on her earlier willingness to volunteer for every major holiday as a learning moment. Older colleagues who had retired and peers with adult children helped her realize she deserved time off just like anyone else. Last year she worked Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Day, and New Year’s Eve and Day because of COVID; this year, when asked again, she smiled and said she had already put in her time and would take all of them off. The core message emerging from workers’ stories and experts’ guidance is that fair, transparent scheduling protects relationships at home while preserving morale and productivity at work. It also highlights a broader shift in workplace culture: treating holiday coverage as a shared responsibility, not a reminder of who is most or least available to sacrifice for the job.