After 15 years of daily drinking, coach promotes 'emotional sobriety' and 80% cutback strategy

Colleen Freeland, who said she drank a bottle of wine every day for 15 years, now advises women to reduce their alcohol intake by roughly 80 percent rather than pursue total abstinence. Freeland, who stopped drinking entirely during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic and later returned to measured drinking, runs Emotional Sobriety Coaching and promotes a group-based, emotion-focused approach to cutting alcohol use.

Freeland traced the escalation of her drinking to her late 20s and 30s, saying alcohol became a way to cope with the demands of family life and periods of loneliness. She said the pandemic, when her daily structure evaporated, brought her drinking to a peak and prompted her to call an Alcoholics Anonymous hotline. "I can’t do this for even one more day," she recalled thinking when she dialled. AA helped her stop drinking completely for three years, she said, but she ultimately moved away from the movement’s view that alcoholism is an incurable disease that requires lifelong abstinence.

Freeland said the initial period of sobriety offered relief from daily hangovers and the secrecy surrounding her drinking, but did not resolve underlying issues including low energy, anxiety and a sense of diminished purpose. After three years without alcohol she had a small drink in 2023 and concluded that her relationship with alcohol was more a symptom of unmet emotional needs than the root cause of those needs. She now describes her work as teaching women how to be the person who prefers moderation, a practice she summarises with the mantra "Get happy, not sober."

Since 2021 Freeland has built a social media following that she says exceeds 160,000 on TikTok and has developed a paid coaching programme. The programme, she said, includes unlimited one-on-one sessions, group workshops, roughly 1,500 hours of private podcast material, in-person "Mindful Drinking" events and an around-the-clock online community. Freeland told clients and followers that group support helps change behaviour by creating shared goals and practical practice opportunities for moderate drinking.

Freeland described the path that led her to this model in a recounting of her life. She said her first drink was at 17, and that binge drinking continued through university. She became a teacher at 21, had four children between ages 23 and her 30s, and used alcohol as a way to unwind after long workdays and childcare responsibilities. After a first divorce in 2013 she remarried and said the recurring pattern of being responsible for family logistics while partners worked long hours reinforced drinking as a coping mechanism.

In interviews and social posts, she has characterised over-drinking as a symptom rather than a standalone disorder. She said cravings correlate closely with stress and that reducing stress and improving self-care reduce the desire to drink. Freeland also cited research in support of her view, saying brain scans of people months into recovery indicate stronger self-regulation among those who have overcome addiction. She presents that interpretation as part of why she believes some people can reintroduce moderate drinking safely after addressing underlying emotional drivers.

Freeland said she does not encourage total abstinence for all clients. Instead, she recommends cutting alcohol consumption by about 80 percent and teaching new coping skills before removing alcohol entirely. She said the approach recognises alcohol can provide temporary relief from stress and that removing it without developing alternatives can backfire. "We don’t demonise alcohol at all," she said, adding that the goal is to help clients drink in ways that provide pleasure rather than cause problems.

Her five core strategies for cutting drinking, as she describes them, are aimed at addressing emotion and daily routine rather than relying solely on tracking or punitive measures. First, she urges people to reframe the issue as emotional: ask how much they want to feel relaxed, connected or powerful instead of how much they want to drink. Second, she recommends structuring the day from the morning to stabilise the nervous system, including time without screens and a gentler start to the day. Third, she advises delaying the first drink of the evening by at least an hour and beginning with water or a nonalcoholic option to allow the nervous system time to settle. Fourth, she encourages developing alternative evening habits that provide pleasure and calm, such as a walk or exercise, to replace the emotional reward previously provided by alcohol. Fifth, she counsels setting realistic expectations and accepting that lapses will occur, viewing them as opportunities to address feelings of guilt or shame rather than proof of failure.

Freeland said her current drinking is modest: two glasses of wine on weekend social occasions and one glass at weeknight dinners. She said she rarely drinks spirits except for special events. She also said her work has brought financial independence after decades of relying on spouses, and that her lived experience of heavy drinking, abstinence and moderation informs her coaching.

Clinicians and public-health experts describe a range of evidence-based strategies for reducing alcohol-related harm, including brief interventions, structured behavioural therapies and pharmacologic treatments for those with alcohol use disorder. Freeland's approach emphasises peer support, skill-building and emotion regulation as pathways to moderation rather than mandated abstinence, and she positions her model as one option for people seeking to reduce but not eliminate alcohol use.

Freeland's account underscores the complex role alcohol can play in family life, mental health and daily routine, and highlights the variety of support models people use to change drinking behaviour. Her coaching operation and social media presence reflect a growing set of services that blend peer-group methods, online resources and lifestyle coaching to help clients alter their relationship with alcohol.