After Seven Years of Dismissed Pain, Woman's Hysterectomy Ends Debilitating Menstrual Symptoms

A Southern California woman who said she lived with crippling menstrual pain for seven years underwent a hysterectomy this summer after a new specialist identified uterine polyps that an earlier doctor had missed, she wrote in an essay for HuffPost.

Carrie Friedman described a June appointment at which her then-OB-GYN reviewed an ultrasound for about two minutes, told her "It all looks good!" and, when she protested that bleeding and pain had left her iron-deficient and bedridden for days each month, added two words Friedman said she found devastating: "Periods hurt!"

Friedman said she had experienced increasingly severe cramps throughout her 20s and 30s and began having debilitating bleeding and pain twice a month in perimenopause. She said the pain had rendered her bedridden for multiple days at a time, left her depressed and produced iron-deficiency anemia unrelieved by over-the-counter or prescribed pain medications.

Two days after the appointment with the first OB-GYN, Friedman sought care from a different gynecologist who performed her own ultrasound and identified "concerning polyps" in the uterine lining that she said required immediate biopsy. The biopsy results were benign, the new doctor told Friedman, and recommended a hysterectomy given Friedman's persistent pain, the family history of uterine and ovarian cancer she reported, and her stage of life: her two daughters are teenagers and she said her childbearing years were complete.

Friedman obtained a second opinion from her primary care physician, secured insurance coverage and scheduled a minimally invasive laparoscopic hysterectomy and oophorectomy for early August. She described an all-female surgical team that provided preoperative medications to "prep the pain receptors," kept her informed during the process and discharged her the same day.

After surgery, Friedman entered surgical menopause and received guidance on hormone-replacement therapy to manage hot flashes, migraines and brain fog. She wrote that her pain stopped completely after the procedure and that relief allowed her to experience heightened well-being and presence.

Friedman's account echoes findings from broader research and surveys that point to disparities in how women's pain is evaluated and treated. A 2024 "Gender Pain Gap" survey cited in her essay found that more than 80% of women reported having their pain dismissed by a health care professional; roughly a third said their mental health suffered as a result. The survey also reported that women of color were more likely than white women to report poor treatment.

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine has found that women presenting with heart attack symptoms are more likely than men to be misdiagnosed and discharged; Friedman cited the study's finding that women were seven times more likely to be misdiagnosed and discharged while in the middle of having a heart attack. Research and advocates have noted that many clinical understandings of disease have been built primarily on male physiology, which can affect recognition and treatment of conditions with sex-specific presentations.

Clinicians and patient advocates say delays in diagnosis and treatment, undertreatment of pain, and the characterization of symptoms as psychological contribute to poorer outcomes. Friedman described earlier encounters in which she felt dismissed, including a childhood visit when a male pediatrician told her to "calm down" about hives that were later linked to a viral infection.

In her HuffPost essay, Friedman urged women to seek clinicians who listen and take their symptoms seriously. She said she wishes she had pursued the surgery earlier and regretted not having left the first OB-GYN sooner. Friedman also recounted the emotional complexity of the decision: while her reproductive organs had caused long-term suffering, they had also been central to conceiving her two children via in vitro fertilization.

Friedman’s narrative underscores both individual and systemic issues: the importance of thorough evaluation when symptoms persist, the potential for differing diagnoses between clinicians, and ongoing concerns about sex and gender disparities in medical care. She wrote that she now prioritizes her quality of life and encourages others not to "live in pain" or accept dismissive treatment from clinicians.

Medical societies recommend that persistent or worsening pelvic pain and abnormal uterine bleeding be evaluated with a detailed history, imaging when indicated, and appropriate referral to specialists. Treatment options vary based on diagnosis and patient goals and may include medical management, minimally invasive procedures or surgery. In cases where surgery induces menopause, clinicians commonly discuss hormone-replacement therapy to mitigate symptoms and manage short-term effects.

Friedman's account was published as a personal essay on HuffPost. She said she lives in Southern California with her family and has been published previously in multiple national outlets. Her experience adds to ongoing conversations about improving clinician–patient communication, reducing disparities in care and ensuring that women’s reports of pain prompt timely, evidence-based evaluation and treatment.