Amber Smith details Granger Smith near-suicide after son's drowning
In a forthcoming memoir, Amber Smith recounts the night her husband nearly took his life after their son River's drowning in 2019, and how faith helped him recover.
Amber Smith, the wife of Granger Smith, reveals in her forthcoming memoir that a 2019 family tragedy drove her husband to the brink of suicide. River, the Smiths’ 3-year-old son, drowned in a pool at the Texas home they shared with their family, a loss that reverberated through their lives. In an excerpt from The Girl on the Bathroom Floor, Amber writes that Granger Smith, then 46, later told her how close he came to pulling the trigger after River’s death. The account also references Smith’s 2023 memoir Like a River, in which he described hitting a low point in the aftermath of the loss.
According to the excerpt published by People magazine, the events unfolded after a show in Boise, Idaho. Granger and a group of friends visited a local bar, laughing and sharing stories while drinking more than he had since River died. Afterward he wandered back to his tour bus alone, unable to recall the door code. Once inside, he lit a weed pen in an attempt to blunt the pain, but nothing changed. He was flooded by a relentless, tormenting montage of River’s final moments and felt engulfed by the belief that he had let his son down as a father.
Amber describes how the night spiraled as the mental images intensified and the weight of grief amplified his sense of failure. She recounts that Granger opened a drawer in the tour bus and found a gun he kept for safety on the road, a Glock 9mm. In a moment of utter despair, he placed the weapon in his mouth, an act he did not complete, but which he says exposed how close he came to ending his life. Amber writes that the night’s edge was defined by a stark contrast between the man she knew as a devoted father and husband and the depths of fear and pain he experienced that evening.
The narrative emphasizes that the torment included a “slideshow” of River’s drowning and the conviction that he had failed River as a father. Amber notes that the gun was not fired, and that the moment passed only because Granger reached out for another form of relief, a spiritual crisis that would eventually steer him toward faith. She quotes him describing the night as a battle with inner demons that he could not win alone and that was only overcome when he cried out for help and for spiritual deliverance.
The reflection adds a key contrast in Granger Smith’s life arc: the crisis preceded a shift toward faith and ministry. Amber writes that he cried out, “Jesus, save me,” and that, in that instant, the visions faded, the gun slipped from his hand, and he collapsed on the bathroom floor of his tour bus, fully clothed and weeping. The next morning, she says, he sent a text acknowledging an “awful night” and admitting he had drunk too much and faced a confrontation with what he described as spiritual warfare. The account notes that it would be years before Amber fully understood the depth of his crisis.
Granger Smith has since embraced a faith-centered path and expanded his public role as a minister. He and Amber have become outspoken advocates for child water safety in the wake of River’s death. They welcomed their youngest son, Maverick, in August 2021, joining two older children—London, who was then 14, and Lincoln, 11—whose lives became central to the family’s narrative and advocacy.
In April 2024, Smith announced his retirement from country music, saying that the summer’s Like A River tour would be his last. In an August 2024 interview with Entertainment Tonight, he recalled the moment he faced suicidal thoughts, saying that thoughts of London and Lincoln—his children at home—drove his decision to seek help. He described crying out to Jesus for help and said that surrendering to faith brought a sense of peace that stopped the “slideshow” of River’s drowning, lifted the weight of the gun from his mouth, and allowed him to fall to the floor in tears. He described that moment as a turning point that set him on a path toward ministry.
Amber’s forthcoming memoir, The Girl on the Bathroom Floor, deepens the account of grief and resilience in the wake of River’s death. The couple’s public focus has since been on preventing tragedies through child water safety education, supporting families facing trauma, and guiding communities toward healing. While their story is steeped in loss, it is also framed by their commitment to faith, family, and the safety of children around water.