Amber Smith reveals Granger Smith’s near-suicide after River’s drowning in forthcoming memoir

Amber Smith reveals in an excerpt from her forthcoming memoir that Granger Smith came close to taking his own life after the couple’s 3-year-old son River drowned in 2019. The excerpt, described in coverage tied to People, quotes the country singer’s wife detailing a moment she says she never imagined he would survive, writing that her husband “put a cold Glock 9mm into his mouth.”

The near-suicide occurred after Granger had been drinking following a show, Amber writes, describing how he drank “more than he had since River” died in a tragic drowning. She says he sought relief by using a weed pen to blunt the emotional flood, but it did not alter his state. Amber describes a mental countdown in which he flashed through memories of River and feared the emotions would overwhelm him, noting that “the slideshow kicked on” with visions of River facedown in the pool.

Lies pierced his conscience that he was a failure as a father, Amber writes, and in a moment of utter despair he grabbed the gun kept in a drawer by his bed for safety on the road. After crying out to God, the visions stopped, the gun slipped from his hand, and he collapsed to the floor, falling asleep in a puddle of his own tears, fully clothed on the bathroom floor of his bus. Granger later texted Amber about having an “awful night” and coming “face-to-face with Satan,” but did not reveal that he had been so close to pulling the trigger.

Granger Smith and Amber were already parents to daughter London, then 13, and son Lincoln, then 11, when River died in June 2019. Amber notes that the couple later pursued IVF and welcomed son Maverick in August 2021. Amber’s memoir, The Girl on the Bathroom Floor, is due on shelves October 14. If you or someone you know is affected by these issues, you can call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

The excerpt also underscores the ongoing mental-health toll reported by families coping with sudden child loss and the long arc of healing that followed, including Granger and Amber’s continued commitment to each other and their children. The book’s release is anticipated as part of a broader public discussion about grief, resilience, and reaching out for help during moments of profound distress.