Dear Abby columns address intimacy during menstruation and coping after loss
Health-focused advice counsels consent and self-care in the face of relationship stress and grief.
Two readers of the nationally syndicated Dear Abby column raise health-related questions about intimacy and loss. In one case, an 18-year marriage is strained when a husband pressures his wife for sex around her menstrual cycle; in the other, a widow five months after her husband's death asks whether she can ever marry again.
The first reader describes a husband who travels for work and returns only four nights a week. He becomes anxious and pushes for sex as his schedule aligns with his own needs, then pouts, grows distant, and demands updates on when intimacy might resume. The wife says her days start early, she cannot stay up late, and her feelings are ignored during what she experiences as a natural bodily process. She asks whether it is right for him to blame her for having her period or to expect her to be available to satisfy him despite her fatigue and concerns about waking early the next day.
The columnist responds firmly, labeling the husband as an ignorant bully for blaming her physiology or treating her cycle as a duty. It is not appropriate to be angry about something the body does naturally, and it is not the wife’s obligation to satisfy him at the expense of her own well-being. The reply also suggests that if his approach to intimacy is a problem, the couple should seek a constructive path forward with a licensed marriage and family therapist to reach a compromise. It is emphasized that sex in marriage should be consensual and based on communication, not domination, and that both partners’ needs deserve respect.
The second reader shares grief after losing her husband to cancer five months ago. She says listening to sad music or watching sad films triggers memories of him, and she wonders if she will ever find another partner to share her life with. The columnist offers sympathy and notes that the sense of a void is real, but recovery depends on taking care of herself. Advice centers on practical steps to rebuild a life and social network: staying physically active—such as daily walks—rebuilding a social life, and volunteering to re-engage with others. The aim is to improve overall well-being and potentially broaden opportunities for future connection, while acknowledging that no outcome can be guaranteed.
The columnists remind readers that Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren (Jeanne Phillips), provides guidance drawn from ongoing experience with personal and health-related issues. For those seeking more information or to submit questions, Dear Abby is reachable through DearAbby.com or the column’s mailing address. These messages reflect ongoing conversations about intimate health, consent, mental health, and the importance of self-care in managing life transitions.