Dear Abby columns cite health concerns in marital stress and unrequited longing

Two readers turned to the Dear Abby advice column this week to seek guidance on health-related stress tied to relationship challenges. In Louisiana, a couple who have been together 25 years, married 16, and are parents to three children aged 14, 11 and 9 describe a marriage that once worked well but has been strained since the husband took a government job five years ago. After two years of frequent travel, the wife says she bore most of the day-to-day load for their kids, a shift that bred resentment. The husband began to drink more and later had an affair, a development she calls a stark personality change. The family has entered counseling, and the wife notes mixed signals about the future of the marriage; at times he seems fully committed, at other times distant and angry. The stress has a direct impact on family dynamics and the well-being of their children, who rely on both parents for support and stability.

Abby’s guidance in the column emphasizes that the couple’s health hinges on honest communication and professional support. The counselor’s sessions are viewed as a positive step, and Abby underscores that seeking help can be a sign of strength rather than weakness. In her response, she acknowledges the emotional toll of such changes and encourages a careful, open dialogue about core questions: whether the affair remains ongoing, how central the government job is to the family welfare, and whether the travel schedule was driven more by an external relationship than by job requirements. Abby also notes that the husband’s difficulty in meeting his wife’s gaze is often rooted in guilt, rather than a lack of care, and that both partners must confront uncomfortable truths to determine whether there is a viable path forward. The letter ends with empathy for the family and a reminder that salvaging a marriage calls for sustained effort and accountability.

In a separate inquiry from Washington state, a reader who has dated others since a long ago encounter with a church minister describes ongoing emotional fixation with that man. The writer, who became single again years ago, has carried these feelings for 35 years and wonders whether the attraction is love or merely lust. The minister lied about his personal life and ultimately married someone else, which left the writer hurt and emotionally stuck. Abby responds that the attachment is unlikely to be pure love or lust; rather, it reflects an idealized projection of a relationship onto someone who did not live up to those ideals. The advice she offers is blunt: acknowledge the illusion, move past the crush, and focus on building a real, present relationship rather than clinging to a fantasy from the past. The writer is urged to consign the crush to the past and channel energy toward future possibilities.

Health experts note that relationship distress can take a toll on mental health and overall family well-being. Anxiety, sleep disruption and parenting stress commonly accompany periods of conflict, while counseling can help improve communication, boundaries and coping strategies for substance use or trust issues. Dear Abby’s guidance in these exchanges highlights the importance of confronting painful truths, setting realistic expectations, and taking concrete steps to support healthier relationships and the children who depend on them. By addressing core challenges openly and seeking professional support when needed, families can reduce the risk of long-term emotional harm and strengthen their resilience in the face of upheaval.

The exchanges also illustrate a broader health theme: relationship stability is a key determinant of household mental health. When couples navigate disagreement with empathy and accountability, it can lessen stress for both adults and children. When fidelity and trust are in question, honesty about feelings and limits, paired with professional guidance, can help determine whether a union can be repaired or if durable separation is the healthier option for well-being.

Dear Abby remains a widely read resource for readers seeking practical, nonjudgmental guidance on sensitive topics. The latest letters underscore how changes in work life, travel demands, substance use concerns and unrequited longing can intersect with daily routines and family health. By prioritizing communication, counseling and adherence to boundaries, readers can approach delicate situations with a clearer view of potential outcomes and healthier paths forward.