Experts Offer 10 Questions to Get Kids Talking Beyond ‘How Was School?’

Many parents find themselves met with a single-word answer when they ask children how their day went: “Fine,” “good” or “OK.” Pediatric and mental-health experts say changing when and how parents ask about school can yield more meaningful conversation, help children name emotions and reveal issues that may need support.

Stevi Pucket-Perez, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Health in Dallas, and Alejandra Galindo, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Thriveworks, told Time that parents should move away from the expectation that a child will unload the moment they walk in the door and instead focus on low-stakes, positive interactions that open the door to sharing. Pucket-Perez advised that the initial greeting should establish connection — “I’m so excited to see you!” or “I’m so glad you’re home. I grabbed some snacks I thought you might like” — rather than launching immediately into questions.

Experts recommend thinking of a repertoire of prompts tailored to the child’s mood and development rather than a checklist to be run through each day. Parents can model the type of sharing they want by offering a piece of their own day first. Pucket-Perez suggested a starter line: “Let’s share one good thing and one not-so-great thing that happened today. I can go first.” She said that sharing first makes the exchange feel mutual rather than interrogative and shows children how to talk about both positive moments and challenges.

Specific, open-ended questions often work better than broad inquiries. Pucket-Perez and Galindo provided examples aimed at children from preschool through middle school, with different prompts revealing different kinds of information. Asking “What was the hardest thing you did today?” can invite a child to name a specific struggle and gives parents a chance to describe how they handled similar moments. Asking “What are some of your classroom rules?” can clarify whether a child understands expectations and give parents a chance to help interpret school language or, when needed, raise questions with educators.

Other questions are designed to surface strengths, interests and social dynamics. “What was something fun or exciting that happened today?” helps parents learn what engages a child and reinforces confidence when the child recognizes their own accomplishments. A lighter prompt — “If you could switch places with someone in your class, who would it be?” — can reveal admiration, comparisons and feelings about peers without directly asking about popularity or status.

To probe emotional experience and coping, Galindo recommends questions that invite naming and reflection, such as: “Tell me something that made you feel anxious or worried today. How did you handle it?” She said parents do not need to ask this every day but that when concerns are apparent, the question opens a space to practice simple strategies together. Galindo recommends an easy breathing exercise — breathe in for three counts, hold for three, breathe out for three — and, for younger children, movement-based releases like dancing and a playful metaphor: imagine spaghetti going from stiff to noodly.

Other useful prompts include asking when the child felt most bored, which can be a less threatening way to learn about academic difficulties, and “What was something kind you did or saw?” which helps instill prosocial values and gives parents a window into how the child treats others. When a child reports an act of kindness, Galindo suggests pausing and asking whether the child is proud of themselves before offering parental praise, an approach that encourages internal self-esteem rather than seeking external validation.

Questions about the future or upcoming events can surface anticipatory anxiety: “Is there anything you're nervous about for tomorrow?” prompts problem-solving and helps parents coach practical steps while emphasizing that mistakes are part of learning. To foster agency, Pucket-Perez recommends asking “Is there anything from your day you want some help with?” and then resisting the urge to immediately solve the problem. Parents should ask what kind of help the child wants, whether they simply want to talk, would like brainstorming, or prefer the parent to intervene.

Both experts emphasized timing and tone: children may be most open after a snack, play, a favorite activity or at bedtime rather than immediately upon arriving home. Questions should be asked singly and in an open-ended way, not in rapid-fire succession, to avoid making the child feel interrogated. The goal, Pucket-Perez said, is to build trust and safety so that when difficult topics arise, children see their parents as a place to turn. It also helps parents detect situations that might require intervention, advocacy or further support.

The strategies are intended to be flexible across ages and temperaments and do not require daily use of every prompt. Instead, parents are encouraged to rotate questions, follow cues from the child’s mood, and use moments of sharing to model coping and reflection. For parents seeking more phrasing ideas for tricky social situations, Time provided an email contact: timetotalk@time.com.