Health: Dear Abby guidance tackles overdose grief and family boundary-setting
Two new letters illustrate how health-focused advice addresses coping with loss from overdose and managing difficult relatives, with emphasis on mental health support and clear boundaries.
A health-focused Dear Abby column offers practical guidance for readers facing addiction-related grief and challenging family dynamics, highlighting the emotional toll and the steps that can support recovery and family well-being.
A reader who signs as "Stuck in New Hampshire" describes meeting a man named Donny 18 months ago. For a period, their relationship was happy, but by every Friday he would find an excuse to go to a bar, return intoxicated, and trigger arguments. Over time the pattern escalated from drinking to drug use. A few months before writing, Donny visited the writer and seemed "off" before going into the bathroom. The next morning she woke to find him kneeling on the floor and, shortly after, learned that he had overdosed. She called 911 and performed CPR, but responders were unable to save him. She says she is on medication and feels trapped by guilt, wondering if anything could have changed the outcome. Dear Abby responds that the writer bears no blame for Donny’s death, stressing that the dealer supplied a drug more powerful than Donny could tolerate and that inviting him in likely did not cause the overdose. Abby advises seeking help from a mental health professional to work through the loss and the guilt, offering sympathy for the entanglement of love, addiction, and grief.
In a separate letter, "Needled in Connecticut" writes about a conflict with her mother-in-law, who is intensely focused on her grandchild and tends to air opinions loudly in the child’s presence. She interrupts conversations and dismisses others’ views when they do not affect her directly. The writer notes the mother-in-law’s sharp remarks even when she asked to lead a local nonprofit and received no support in return. The husband tries to shield his mother from conflict, leaving the writer feeling caught between her spouse and his mother. Dear Abby replies that there is no law requiring visits to the mother-in-law if the son does not want to go. The writer should set boundaries and communicate that the child’s welfare comes first, explaining that visits will occur as part of a family unit. When faced with pushback, she should be polite but firm, and stand by the boundaries that protect her family’s well-being.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column offers practical, compassionate guidance on personal health, relationships, and everyday life challenges. The letters discussed here are drawn from a recent New York Post summary of the columnist’s advice, reflecting the ongoing public conversation about coping with health-related trauma and household dynamics.