Overcoming driving anxiety: a psychotherapist's 11-year return to the road

After a decade of avoiding the wheel, psychotherapist Anna Mathur has returned to driving and outlines a method she says can help others overcome driving anxiety, or amaxophobia. Mathur describes the method as built on small, repeatable steps, patience and relearning the brain's response to risk behind the wheel.

More than a third of people feel anxious behind the wheel, according to research by the insurance firm Aviva, with separate surveys showing around 10 per cent experience it so severely it counts as a phobia. It’s particularly prevalent among women, with those in their 40s and 50s typically most at risk.

Experts say the fear can stem from trauma, or be inherited. Some women report mothers who never drove, making the act feel like stepping into unknown territory. For many, it’s also tied to midlife pressures, parenting responsibilities and hormonal changes that heighten sensitivity and overload the nervous system.

Mathur’s own history reflects a long arc from confidence to crippling worry and back to controlled driving. She passed her test at 17 and drove for a time, though with lingering reminders about blind spots. In 2004, a country-road crash involving her then-boyfriend ended in a rollover; the incident was terrifying, but no one was hurt. Afterward, intrusive thoughts grew, and driving gradually waned. She moved for university, then to London, and did not drive for several years. In 2014, the family relocated to Godalming, Surrey, where the lack of frequent Tube or bus options intensified the fear. By 2016, she found herself walking miles with a double buggy containing a two-year-old and a newborn rather than taking the car, and she decided enough was enough.

Her method to beat driving anxiety centers on raising the bar gradually. She started with steps that felt doable: sitting in the driving seat outside the house or driving to the end of the road with a friend coaching. She began with short trips she could have walked, letting each small success tell her body that the task was doable and gradually rewiring the anxiety response. She also paired car time with something pleasurable, such as listening to a podcast, to replace catastrophic thoughts with a positive association. Planning is essential, too: mapping out stop-offs can make a long trip feel more manageable. When anxiety spikes, steady breathing helps the body relax, with deliberate exhalations used to signal that the threat is not present. Even now, she uses these techniques as she overtakes lorries on the motorway.

Today, Mathur has been back on the roads for about 11 years and drives numerous times a day. She says the sense of pride and freedom she experiences entering motorway slip roads remains a vivid reminder of progress. She emphasizes that driving anxiety is not a sign of weakness; it is the body’s alarm system trying to keep people safe, and that progress comes through time, patience and practice.

The broader message for readers: driving anxiety can shrink a world, but it can be overcome with a structured, gradual approach. For those seeking guidance, Mathur offers a video workshop on driving anxiety at annamathur.com. The Good Decision Diary, by Anna Mathur (Penguin Life) is out now.