Pub lunches and support groups help man cope with prostate cancer

Marcus Grodentz, 74, learned that his prostate cancer had spread to his bones and lungs in a diagnosis that came amid a period of rapid adjustment to treatment. The cancer’s reach meant he would need ongoing hormone therapy, and the side effects — often described by doctors as the male menopause — would accompany him for years. The initial blow was followed by a sense of isolation as he navigated fatigue, emotional volatility and a loss of sexual desire that strained his relationship with his wife, Maggie, 72, a former GP surgery manager.

Maggie encouraged Marcus to seek emotional support, a step that many men with prostate cancer hesitate to take. While newer therapies can extend life, they also come with profound consequences. Hormone treatment works by reducing testosterone and is commonly used alongside chemotherapy or radiotherapy; it can bring symptoms that range from hot flushes and fatigue to weight gain and changes in body hair.

At Maggie's centres, Marcus found practical workshops and emotional support that helped him come to terms with his disease. He recalls learning how to apply SPF50 sunscreen year-round to protect his skin, a practical tip that felt tangible in the midst of more daunting concerns. He says the group meetings offered relief by letting men share experiences and laugh together despite the seriousness of their condition. As Robin Muir, a clinical psychologist at Maggie's, notes, treatment side-effects can be as challenging as the diagnosis, and talking openly can improve mood, adjust expectations and potentially influence outcomes.

Research supports that idea. A UK study involving more than 13,000 prostate cancer patients found that those who had people to confide in regularly and who participated in group activities had a reduced mortality risk. The study, published in Psycho-Oncology, adds to a body of evidence suggesting that good psychological support and exercise benefit men with prostate cancer. Professor Andrew Protheroe, a consultant medical oncologist and uro-oncologist at the University of Oxford, says the findings align with other research, including a 2014 Lancet study of 500 cancer patients showing improved fatigue, mood and pain after three years when depression and anxiety were treated alongside cancer care.

Yet many men are reluctant to seek help. 'When faced with any cancer diagnosis, men are much more likely to isolate and not want to talk about things,' Muir says. For Marcus, joining a Maggie's group near his home in South Wales changed his trajectory. He began attending weekly meetings and, after nine months, started attending social gatherings such as a pub lunch with fellow group members. These gatherings helped him rebuild social connections and form a support network that extended beyond the meetings through a Whatsapp group and informal check-ins.

Marcus's journey was complicated by health setbacks. About four months ago, he suffered a mini-stroke, thought to be a possible side-effect of chemotherapy, and he has also been dealing with depression for several years. Despite these challenges, he continues to advocate for others with cancer to seek support: 'I’d urge men with cancer to find a support group. You’ll find a group of people who understand exactly what you are going through,' he says. 'We guys tend to think we are bulletproof. It’s a huge shock to discover that we’re not.'

Across the UK, around 55,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year, a figure that underscores the scale of the challenge and the need for accessible support. Cases such as Sir Cliff Richard's, who revealed a prostate cancer diagnosis during a check-up ahead of a tour, have helped raise public awareness of the disease. Hormone therapies that suppress testosterone can extend life but carry significant physical and emotional side effects — effects that doctors say are manageable with proper support, lifestyle guidance and ongoing medical care.

Nationally, the issue of support services for prostate cancer varies. A BMJ Open study in 2023 found considerable variation in supportive services, with only 69% of 138 hospitals offering counselling and 75% offering sexual function services. The NHS and Maggie's network, which includes 27 centres at major cancer hospitals across the UK, provide mental health and lifestyle support that researchers say can help improve treatment outcomes and quality of life.

The experience of Marcus and the growing emphasis on emotional care reflect a broader shift in cancer treatment. As clinicians, researchers and patient groups push for more consistent counselling and accessible group programs, patients like Marcus say small acts — a weekly meeting, a pub lunch, and a supportive WhatsApp thread — can help people live with cancer rather than simply endure it.