Pub lunches help prostate cancer patient cope with illness, Maggie’s support group finds

Marcus Grodentz, a 74-year-old former public relations executive living in South Wales, was diagnosed with prostate cancer that had spread to his bones and lungs. He began experiencing a rapid slate of hormone-therapy side effects that clinicians describe as a male menopause, including emotional volatility, hot flushes and a loss of libido, which left him feeling isolated and vulnerable. His wife Maggie, 72, who once managed a GP surgery, urged him to seek emotional support. At first he resisted, but he soon realized that the help offered by peers facing the same fight could be a lifeline. Today, Marcus continues to attend weekly Maggie’s sessions and after each meeting the group often heads to a local pub for a drink and conversation, a routine he says helps him recharge and stay connected.\n\nAround 55,000 men in the United Kingdom are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year, a figure that includes Sir Cliff Richard, who revealed that his cancer was detected during a check-up ahead of a tour of Australia and New Zealand. He said the cancer had been caught early and was now under control, though he did not specify the treatment. Hormone therapy, or androgen deprivation therapy, is a common part of treatment for advanced disease and works by shutting down testosterone production — a strategy that can slow tumor growth but carries profound side effects. The therapy is usually given alongside other treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Experts note that these effects can be substantial: fatigue, hot flushes, loss of libido, weight gain, shrinkage of the testes and penis, potential breast enlargement, bone-density loss, and heightened risk of heart disease. The psychological toll can be as heavy as the physical symptoms, particularly for men who are used to being in control and who feel invincible until confronted by cancer and its treatment.\n\nDespite the challenges, research increasingly points to the value of emotional support and physical activity for men with prostate cancer. A UK study involving more than 13,000 patients found that those who had people to confide in regularly and who participated in group activities had a reduced mortality risk. The study, published in Psycho-Oncology, aligns with earlier work suggesting that treating depression and anxiety in cancer patients improves symptoms and may influence outcomes. Andrew Protheroe, a medical oncologist and associate professor of uro-oncology at the University of Oxford, notes that good psychosocial support and exercise can translate into better treatment experiences and outcomes. He adds that clinicians must help men navigate side-effects such as erectile dysfunction, which many find difficult to discuss with a largely female healthcare workforce.\n\nYet many men remain reluctant to seek help. Robin Muir, a clinical psychologist at Maggie’s, says that even when support is available, men often delay engaging with services and may feel emotionally fragile after diagnosis. The challenge is not only access but willingness to discuss intimate and painful subjects, including sexual function, with healthcare providers. A recent UK study suggested that engaging in group activities and establishing supportive networks can positively influence survival, underscoring the value of peer support alongside medical treatment. Marcus’s case illustrates how practical and social support can complement clinical care. After years of running and staying active, Marcus found that group-based engagement helped him cope with fatigue and mood swings that accompanied therapy.\n\nMarcus began noticing urinary symptoms about nine months before his diagnosis. At 71, he started needing to urinate frequently and experienced burning pain, sometimes losing control. After nine months of symptoms, a GP visit in 2022 led to imaging and a diagnosis of prostate cancer with metastasis to the lungs and bones. The prognosis was sobering: he would require ongoing hormone therapy to slow tumor growth, delivered via injections every three months. The day of his diagnosis marked the start of a difficult era, but Marcus recalls the moment as the point at which he realized he needed support beyond his own resilience.\n\nInitially resistant to joining Maggie’s, Marcus attended his first group meeting with some trepidation. He found the atmosphere supportive and relatable, and the practical workshops proved invaluable. He learned, for instance, to apply SPF50 sunscreen year-round to protect his skin after hair loss from hormone therapy. The combination of practical advice and emotional camaraderie helped him move toward acceptance of his condition, a process he describes as gradual but transformative. Three years on, the weekly group meetings continue to feel restorative, helping him manage physical symptoms like fatigue and confidence issues linked to treatment. He and fellow attendees have built lasting friendships, and they maintain contact via a WhatsApp group and regular pub lunches after meetings.\n\nDespite the progress, Marcus faced further health challenges. About four months ago, he suffered a mini-stroke that doctors suspect resulted from chemotherapy. He has also battled depression for the past three years. Yet his message to others coping with cancer is straightforward: seek out a support group. He notes that men often assume they are immune to the emotional impact of cancer, only to discover otherwise, and he urges others to reach out for help.\n\nThe Maggie’s centers, which number 27 across major cancer hospitals in the UK, play a central role in providing practical and emotional support to people with cancer and their families. Yet researchers caution that access to and quality of supportive services vary by region. A BMJ Open study published in 2023 identified considerable variation in supportive services, with only 69% of 138 hospitals offering counselling and 75% offering sexual function services. Advocates argue that lifestyle and psychological support available through the NHS and Maggie’s can improve treatment experiences and potentially outcomes. Robin Muir emphasizes that building trust takes time; it may take months for participants to feel comfortable sharing personal concerns, but the process can be essential for emotional well-being and, potentially, for the effectiveness of treatment. Marcus’s case underscores how a patient-centered approach that combines medical therapy with psychosocial care can help people endure difficult diagnoses and maintain quality of life.\n\nFor Marcus, the weekly Maggie’s sessions and the pub lunches that followed have become more than a social routine. They are a cornerstone of his ongoing coping strategy, a way to preserve a sense of autonomy and connection at a time when cancer treatment demands new levels of resilience. His story illustrates a broader message: emotional support, peer connections and practical guidance can complement medical treatment and may contribute to better overall outcomes for men facing prostate cancer. He urges others in similar circumstances to seek support, acknowledging that the path through cancer is rarely solitary, and that shared experience can provide both comfort and strength.