Sex expert says cuckolding is more common than people think, urges careful communication

A UK-based sex educator and author says the cuckolding fetish — in which one partner derives arousal from watching their partner have sex with someone else — is more widespread among couples than commonly assumed and warrants careful, consensual discussion before being acted on.

Adreena Winters, 37, who bills herself as the "Queen of Cuckolds" and wrote So You Want To Be A Cuckold?, discussed the fetish and other sexual preferences in an interview published this month. Winters said couples often need practical advice on how to introduce unconventional fantasies to one another, how to vet potential additional partners and how to navigate jealousy and safety concerns.

Cuckolding typically involves one partner — usually a man in the descriptions Winters provided — taking pleasure in watching the other partner have sex with a more dominant person. Winters said her book explains what the fetish is and offers guidance on how to approach a partner, emphasizing that a blunt or abrupt proposal can quickly put a partner off.

"Don't just drop your kink into your partner's lap," Winters said. "You don't want to scare them off. Good communication is really important, and the topic needs to be broached gently." She also advised that couples discuss boundaries and consent in advance and vet any third party before involving them in their sexual lives.

In the interview, Winters described a range of fetishes she has encountered in her work, from penis humiliation and feederism to a so-called giantess fetish. She said some themes recur frequently: a desire for dominance, role reversal or explicit humiliation framed in a consensual context. "A lot of men want their partner to be more dominant," Winters said. "I'm finding that women are also initiating more, and that's quite exciting."

She pointed to broader trends reported elsewhere. A 2025 analysis of state-by-state search data listed the giantess fetish among the most searched kinks in parts of the United States, and other data cited in recent months documented a summer rise in niche porn categories, including a reported 46.85% surge in videos featuring inflatable beach balls.

Winters, who also produces material on subscription platforms, warned against moving too quickly when attempting to explore a new fantasy. She said partners should explicitly agree on limits and safe words and should avoid surprising one another with unexpected acts, particularly when humiliation or other psychologically charged elements are involved.

"If there is humiliation involved in the kink your partner wants to try, it's not necessarily from a negative place," she said. "You need to be showing each other support and making sure that you both feel safe and secure in any situation."

Clinicians and sexual-health professionals generally advise that consent, clear communication and attention to emotional safety are central when couples explore fetishes or nonmonogamous arrangements. Winters echoed those priorities and added practical steps, such as discussing expectations beforehand, agreeing on boundaries and doing background checks or interviews if a third person will be involved.

She also addressed common stranger-sounding fantasies that nonetheless appear in many people's private lives. "Farting is huge," Winters said. "I don't know why, but men seem to really like the idea of women farting in their faces." She described female wrestling, penis humiliation and feederism among other fetishes that clients and followers have discussed with her.

Winters recommended that couples take any new kink slowly and prioritize ongoing consent, adding that some people may be open to experimentation while others will not be. She said couples therapists, sexual-health practitioners or credentialed counselors can help partners navigate conversations about boundaries, jealousy and mental-health impacts when sexual interests diverge.

Her comments come amid growing public discussion about sexual variety and the role of communication in intimate relationships. Winters framed her book as a practical guide for couples who are curious about cuckolding and related dynamics, emphasizing preparation, mutual respect and safety as central elements for those who choose to explore them.