Wedding-day stress linked to guests’ behavior, health experts say

A veteran wedding planner says one of the most annoying habits guests exhibit on a wedding day can have real health implications for the couple planning the event. Robin 'Birdie' Yarusso, 43, of Lakeville, Minnesota, who has helped organize more than 100 weddings over nearly two decades, told the Daily Mail that guests bombarding the bride with logistical questions is among the worst acts on the big day. Texting the bride the day of with questions like where to park can add unnecessary stress to someone already juggling details, she said, noting that there are many ways to figure things out without stressing the bride.

The issue extends beyond texting to in-person disruptions. Yarusso also highlighted that arriving late to the ceremony can be distracting, especially as the party searches for seats. The pattern, she noted, not only interrupts the event but also creates anxiety for the couple and other guests who are trying to follow a schedule. With two decades in the industry, she emphasizes that behind the etiquette lessons lies a concern for the emotional well-being of everyone involved.

Beyond day-of etiquette, the planner points to the financial dimension of wedding planning as a critical health factor for couples. She identifies overspending as a major mistake that can compound stress and strain relationships. 'Going into debt to plan a day is not worth it,' she said. The pressure to keep up with appearances or trends can create lasting emotional fatigue, and debt can linger long after the last dance.

A recurring refrain in her guidance is to focus on meaningful experiences rather than chasing Instagram-worthy moments. She discourages extravagance, pointing out that many wedding expenses do not translate into lasting happiness. In her experience, party favors are a notable money waster: venues are often cleaned out by the end of the night, and she estimates that the vast majority of favors are left behind, adding to the sense of waste and financial drain for couples already balancing costs against their desire for a memorable celebration.

National data provide broader context for the financial pressures involved in weddings. In 2024, the average wedding cost about $33,000, according to data from wedding planning and registry site Zola, as cited by Fidelity. The figure varies by location, with California averages about $36,000 and Alaska around $14,000. Other high-cost states include Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, D.C., and Wyoming. The breakdown of spending shows that venue accounts for roughly a quarter of the budget, catering for about 18 percent, photos and video for 12 percent, a DJ or band for 9 percent, flowers for 8 percent, and attire for 7 percent.

The broader takeaway from Yarusso’s guidance is health-oriented in its emphasis on sustainable planning. She urges couples to prioritize creating a meaningful memory over chasing trends or accumulating Instagram-worthy moments. A well-managed wedding, she argues, should strengthen emotional connections among attendees and avoid placing unnecessary strain on the couple’s relationship. 'Make it meaningful,' she concludes. 'Having a beautiful wedding isn’t just about gorgeous flowers and stunning decor. It’s about the emotional connection for everyone. Leave people feeling moved during the ceremony, emotional during the speeches, and energized during the party.'

The notes from the Daily Mail interview, supplemented by cost context from Fidelity-reported Zola data, underscore how etiquette, budgeting, and event planning intersect with health—specifically mental well-being—during what is often a high-pressure life event. While celebration remains the goal, experts remind couples and guests alike that thoughtful behavior can reduce stress, preserve relationships, and help ensure the day is remembered for its warmth and connection rather than for avoidable tensions.