When a high-powered partner won't admit he's hooked on cocaine

Health professionals say cocaine dependence can emerge even in high-powered professionals and can destabilize family life. In a case highlighted by You Magazine, a husband in his late 40s with two young children and a demanding career has become reliant on cocaine. Observers say the drug is used to cope with long hours and professional pressure, but it now threatens the health of the user and the stability of the marriage, with mood swings, arguments and periodic dishonesty affecting the children.

An agony aunt column advises a calm, compassionate approach if a partner denies a problem. The recommended strategy is to talk at a quiet moment, express love while describing how the behavior affects the family, and use I statements to reduce defensiveness. Denial is common, but persistent, gentle messaging should continue until the person is ready to seek professional help. Boundaries are important—not as ultimatums, but as a clear outline of what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship. The guidance also stresses the need for support for the caregiver and the family, noting that treatment often benefits from the involvement of family work and community services.

Practical steps include encouraging professional treatment for the addict, such as counseling and structured support groups. Resources cited include Smartrecovery.org.uk for partners and families, plus organizations such as Adfam.org.uk and wearewithyou.org.uk that offer family coping tools. The aim is to connect families with help that addresses both the addict and the household dynamics.

Separately, the column addresses a reader who disclosed being groomed as a teenager and now contemplates telling an ex-husband about the trauma in the hope of reconciliation. The advice is clear: grooming and sexual abuse are not the reader’s fault, and she should seek counselling first, such as through Rape Crisis (rapecrisis.org.uk, 0808 500 2222). When she feels strong enough, she can consider telling the ex-husband, though there are no guarantees they will resume a relationship. The focus should be on healing and safety rather than on a specific outcome.

Experts emphasize that trauma from grooming requires careful, professional support. The column notes that acknowledging the abuse, processing the experience, and building a support network are essential steps before making decisions about current relationships.

Health guidance for families dealing with addiction and past abuse stresses that early intervention, clear communication and access to community resources can improve outcomes for both adults and children. If nothing changes, caregivers are urged to seek additional help to protect the welfare of the children and their own wellbeing.