Obama says he was 'digging out of a hole' in marriage with Michelle; remarks reflect on years in the White House and public rumors

Barack Obama said he was “digging myself out of the hole I found myself with Michelle” as he reflected on their marriage during a London appearance, telling historian David Olusoga at the O2 Arena that he is now “at about level ground.” The remarks, reported by Page Six citing the Daily Mail, add a personal dimension to the long-publicized dynamics of a political couple whose time in the White House stretched from 2009 to 2017.

During the event in London, Obama’s comments framed a broader narrative of working to maintain a relationship under intense public scrutiny. The former president’s remarks followed disclosures he has made in the past about how the marriage weathered the strains of two back-to-back terms in the White House and the intense national and international attention that came with it.

In April, Obama elaborated on the period when he said he was in a “deep deficit” with his wife and described his efforts to repair the relationship as involving “occasional fun things.” He made the comments to Hamilton College President Steven Tepper, and he has described the approach as a way to rebuild trust and connection amid the pressures of public life. In May 2023, the former president—who has been described by some outlets as the Our Oceans narrator—said stepping away from the presidency allowed him to spend more time with Michelle. He said he was now at “level ground” with her, a phrase that echoed his London remark.

Rumors of trouble in paradise swirled for years, particularly around the time of Donald Trump’s inauguration. Michelle Obama largely stepped back from public life in the lead-up to that event, skipping the funeral of former President Jimmy Carter in January and declining to watch Trump’s swearing-in. Barack Obama attended both events solo. Page Six, citing sources, reported that Michelle had been on an extended holiday in Hawaii, while UPI sources said she had effectively been “checked out” of Washington, D.C., since the family left the White House in 2017. In the face of speculation, Barack Obama posted a birthday tribute to “the love of [his] life” in January and shared a Valentine’s Day selfie with Michelle in February, signaling continuing affection.

Michelle Obama publicly rejected the divorce narrative as well. On Sophia Bush’s Work in Progress podcast in April, she said: “That’s the thing that we as women struggle with — disappointing people.” The couple, who met in 1989 at a Chicago law firm and married three years later, have two daughters, Malia, 27, and Sasha, 24, who have grown up largely in the glare of national attention. AP notes that the Obamas have maintained a strong family presence even as their public lives continue to intersect with ongoing political and cultural conversations.

The remarks come as the Obamas’ private life remains a topic of public interest, with the couple broadly presenting a united front while occasionally addressing the pressures that come with decades of marriage under public scrutiny. The events and quotes cited reflect a pattern of public acknowledgment of their challenges alongside reassurances of their ongoing partnership.

As Obama continues to engage in public dialogue about leadership, family, and public life, analysts say the couple’s ability to balance candor with discretion remains central to their enduring popularity. Their story, marked by milestones and moments of tension, continues to be a touchstone for conversations about marriage, privacy, and resilience in the spotlight.