The Not-So-Special Relationship: Royal etiquette slips mark past U.S. visits to Britain

Donald Trump’s Windsor visit this week reignited a long-running conversation about the so-called special relationship between the United States and Britain after he complimented the Princess of Wales on her appearance, telling Catherine she was 'beautiful' and later calling her 'radiant, and so healthy, and so beautiful' at a formal banquet. Critics said the remarks crossed informal rules of personal diplomacy and risk transforming a ceremonial moment into a televised moment of personal flattery. Royal historians suggested such comments can feel intrusive in a setting meant to emphasize continuity and tradition, not individual charm, underscoring how delicate the etiquette balance can be when a president meets Britain’s royal family.

Trump’s 2018 visit to the United Kingdom already set a high bar for what some saw as royal protocol pitfalls. He met Queen Elizabeth II at Windsor Castle in a pared-down trip designed to limit protests in London. Reports described the president as keeping the late sovereign waiting for about ten minutes in 27‑degree heat, then walking in front of her while inspecting the guard of honour. He did not bow upon greeting the queen, and first lady Melania Trump did not curtsy. While bowing and curtsying are not mandatory, they are widely viewed in the palace as general courtesy. A biography of the late monarch later quoted that she found Trump 'very rude' and that she disliked the impression he gave of glancing past her toward others. Some observers noted questions about the couple’s dynamic, with palace watchers suggesting there may have been deeper tensions behind the scenes. The visit drew large protests, including a giant inflatable blimp portraying Trump as a baby over Parliament Square.

The broader arc of U.S. presidents visiting Britain reads like a catalog of similar moments, sometimes endearing, sometimes awkward, and often revealing the pressure points in diplomacy.

Jimmy Carter’s 1977 Buckingham Palace banquet is frequently cited as an instance of informal royal etiquette meeting unguarded sentiment. Carter was reported to have kissed the Queen Mother on the lips, a gesture he later defended, saying it was a kiss on the cheek and that the reports were distorted. In his 2016 autobiography, he contended that stories about embarrassing him over the kiss were inaccurate but acknowledged the controversy as part of his trip.

Gerald Ford’s 1976 visit, part of the U.S. Bicentennial celebrations, featured an inopportune moment when the band struck up 'The Lady is a Tramp' during a gala as the queen and the Fords danced. Later, while escorting the queen to the Yellow Oval Room, a social moment arose when Ford’s son Jack appeared with his shirt undone and dress studs visible, a scene the queen took in stride with characteristic humor.

Barack Obama’s U.K. visits also drew royal attention for moments that shuffled the formality of the occasion. In 2009, First Lady Michelle Obama drew criticism for placing an arm around Queen Elizabeth II, a gesture she said reflected warmth and shared candidness, while the Queen reportedly did not object and moved closer as they discussed shoes and fashion. In 2011, during a toast at Buckingham Palace, Obama pressed ahead with his remarks as the orchestra began to play God Save the Queen, prompting the Queen to wait for the anthem to finish before raising her glass.

George W. Bush’s 2007 visit included a notable gaffe when the president said the Queen had first toured the United States in 1776, a slip that effectively added 200 years to her age. He then quipped to dignitaries that she had given him a look that only a mother could give a child. The Queen responded with a measured toast that suggested her memory of dates might differ, keeping the moment light but memorable.

Ronald Reagan’s 1982 invitation to Windsor produced a different kind of tempo: the White House waited weeks for a reply to the invitation, a delay attributed by some aides to scheduling considerations and by others to the Reagan administration’s organizational quirks. When the visit finally occurred, Reagan joined the Queen for a horseback ride in Windsor’s grounds during the 1989 tour, a moment often recalled for its symbolic warmth and public camaraderie.

Joe Biden’s 2021 COP26 appearance in Glasgow was marked by a more down-to-earth moment that drew attention for its informality. The Mail on Sunday recounted an event where Queen Camilla, then the Duchess of Cornwall, was reportedly surprised when Biden experienced a long, audible release of gas at a reception. Separately, a fashion note drew scrutiny when Biden wore sunglasses at Windsor during a meeting with the late Queen, a move described by palace aides as a breach of protocol focused on eye contact during introductions. Former palace staff emphasized that removing sunglasses can be part of proper etiquette when meeting the sovereign, though it is understood that different circumstances and personalities influence such choices.

Across these episodes, observers say the pattern reflects a broader tension in the 'special relationship'—a partnership that has often thrived on leadership alignment and ceremonial gravitas, yet can be jolted by human moments, misread signals, and the unpredictable dynamics of high-profile diplomacy. World politics and royal protocol continue to intersect in ways that keep both Washington and London mindful of how to balance warmth with respect for tradition, and public interest with private sensitivities.